Where to start .. So in lieu of writing I messed around and caught myself flirting . Before I sound like "that girl " I am 40 years young and have been single for 2 and a half years . Like Single pringle single..
So the idea of this may have been made possible simply because I thought cute , smart, funny handsome but not from my city and only here temporarily ..What's there to loose ?
I could not resist the opportunity to see what he was about.
He is a contractor with this sweet smile and mesmerizing eyes . Of course only in town for the job and a mystery still. I don't know his last name or where he is from for sure but I do know he is sweet and funny and forward speaking and being around him makes me want to do some very un-lady like things.
I am trying to keep myself grounded in the idea of "What will be will be ".
That being said I am smitten . The oxytocin is fucking with my brain. It is so much more than the sex .. He is sweet and annoyingly funny . I keep thinking that I have met him before , a vague feeling of home when he held me . I kept finding myself looking forward to kissing his sweet face before we fell asleep.
Telling him to bend me over my desk and fuck me - a bold request for me but it was what I wanted in the moment and one that he definitely delivered upon.. I could have asked him for more details about himself but I thought what is the point ?
More than that I know he leaves tomorrow and I am up at 5 am writing this post because he did not come to me last night. I can't expect that he would , not with the day he was having . Two days left on the job and still plenty to do.
I want so much to just have woken up is his arms this morning , blissful kisses and feeling alive and wanted . Fuck me .. I am pathetic even now ..Tears welling up and a lump in my throat just writing this out, lingering with my thoughts of loneliness and feelings of guilt for allowing myself to be so emotional .
I guess this is less writing and more venting as I sort out the baggage .I guess at the end of the day if he had a nice time and so did I .
Is it an affair to remember? Is it possible to turn this into that once upon a time into something real ? Is that even what I want ?
Will he return or is this that missed connection ?