GUESS WHOSE BACK? Yes I have been missing all of you!
Hello Dear readers! I am so sorry that I have been absent for such a long duration. I know that apologies do not make up for absence or abandonment. There is so much to catch you up on .. Although my head is spinning just trying to remember where we left off at. Grab your coffee and find a comfortable position to settle into . We are gonna be here for a good while..
FEBRUARY - I remember I wanted to start the month off by writing a Valentines day month long series of love stories. I intended to fill my readers minds with real life love stories and the tales of sensual fantasy. I intended to write of the fires of passion and the kind of love every soul dreams of.
The fact was as February began I fell into some significant life changes and the truth is it has been a struggle just to get up and keep going. I moved out of the exes apartment and on from our separation towards the end of January as peacefully as one can when a break-up happens.
I was determined to focus on my career as an agent and I have been. Moving came with significant adjustments like a longer commute and more time to contemplate the person I am and who I was becoming and how I wanted the next chapter of my life to take Shape. More so I began to focus on living in a moment verses months and years ahead of time. I began to immerse myself in office life and got lost in reality .
I had moved into a rented room in a friends home and it was great in the beginning. We gave each other respect and plenty of space just because our jobs had us on very different hours..He works as a lineman and is up at the butt crack of dawn .. I work from 11 A.M. to dark thirty ..
Clients who work days and prefer those evening appointment are usually a few hours drive from where I had moved to. I saw a lot of highway and windshield time during the month of February. I also spent a lot of time catching up with friends that I had not seen over the last year that I was with my ex. I was lost a bit for a minute ..
Out late and up early and hanging out with strange and beautiful people who I had sorely missed or had not taking the opportunity to connect with. I even had a random rebound hook-up that I naively thought could be a thing. He was nice and funny, all attributes I have a weakness for. Turns out he was already in relationship. It sucked but as it turns out I am relieved. I think the lesson here is that the universe has a way of steering us into the path we are supposed to be on and even into the arms of that love that is meant to be ours. I have no regrets because life as we know it has significantly changed and the transitions would continue to change hard and fast in just a matter of weeks. In the mean time I continued to get the run out of my soul and had fantastic adventures . I went to hear the music at night in the park and I danced with a stranger. I even sang karaoke, quite badly I might add in a dive bar.
I was in the red boots chapter of my life pretty deep and it was exciting and exhausting and everything that the red boots chapter should be.
Yes the shoes are literal, but the methodology was more the focus of giving no fucks..taking on the yes mentality and fully immersing myself in every moment ,without apology. It is so freeing to embrace the woman I am becoming and to explore all of the facets of myself. For the first time I really know ,myself. I know what I want and I even have an idea of who I want to be sharing it with. I have no doubt that as I began to embrace myself that it would be a bumpy wild not so pretty ride but that every moment would be worth remembering. As the story usually goes just as I was at the height of the high life my world began to tumble hard and fast.
Work itself had begun to plateau and I was spending less and less time focused on my career and more on sewing my wild oats. I had less balance in my routine and probably too much alcohol at night . Things with my room mate got weird when he propositioned me and I said no. Then the situation went from weird to bad in a few days. I needed to move out to resolve the situation and sadly another friendship would die. This would take us from February into March and the onset of new and exciting madness.
Dear readers as you are reading this please note I am well aware of the current situation in our world as this Covid-19 pandemic becomes more and more wide spread. I know hearts and minds and bodies of many are affected and I know that the small details of my life pale in comparison. I do hope that as you follow along and read this that I am helping you in some small way just as writing this is helping me too!
Let us continue to stand strong and live even harder in the red shoes mentality ..Its seeming more now than ever we need to be continuing in the year of yes and to persist even in the face of this pandemic and even in the face of starting over and continuing on in the best ways we can. Do go forward with kindness and empathy for the next man as you do not know the struggle of his journey.